Before I Graduate

Before I graduate the only thing I need to do is defend my dissertation. Essentially, a dissertation is a boring book that will only be read by the four professors who are forced by university policy to read (i.e. suffer through) it. Their only motivation to read is is revenge, for the dissertation defense provides them ample opportunity to unload their most devastating objections. During this “payback session,” they have at least two hours to hurl their criticisms at the poor fellow who wrote the dissertation and enjoy his desperate and hopeless attempt to vindicate his work. As you can see, I have much to look forward to.

At any rate, since I don’t graduate until May and my dissertation should be completed by October or so, I have plenty of time to defend it. Plus, the earliest I can defend my dissertation without losing my funding is the beginning or so of March. Hence, there is no rush to get my dissertation completed. So I’ve decided to fill my spare time by volunteering once or twice a week at Habitat for Humanity. Jenny is thrilled that I am volunteering with Habitat for reasons that may not be obvious. You see, the most basic of tasks related to home improvement and repair often overwhelm me, but by helping out at Habitat I may learn a thing or two that will prevent Jenny from having to use hammers, saws, and other manly tools.

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