The following conversation took place between my husband and me on Friday afternoon. I love my husband, but sometimes, his suggestions kind of scare me! Read with care.
Chris – Hon?
Me – Yeah?
Chris – So, there’s this conference…
Me – Hmm.
Chris – Can I at least read it to you before you tell me no?
Me – Fiiiine.
Chris – So there’s this conference that I can go to at Rutgers, and it’s basically a free ride because they’re offering to pay for me to come out there, and…
Me – When is it?
Chris – Well, it’s in May…
Me – (5 second pause) You mean May, as in, “We’re moving the 1st week of that month to a foreign country”? May, the same month that we are moving to New Zealand? That May?
Chris – It’s only for 3 days. May 13th – 15th.
Me – I see. What will I be doing while you are at this conference on May 13th – 15th?
Chris – Well, you could come with me.
Me – (laughter)
Chris – Or visit your family…
Me – For 2 weeks?
Chris – It’s not 2 weeks – only 3 days!
Me – Right, but remember how our lease is up at the end of April? What would we be doing in the 2 weeks leading up to your conference?
Chris – Well, I’ve thought it through, and it wouldn’t take that much extra effort.
Me – (speculative glance)
Chris – I’m serious. It’s basically a free ride, and we wouldn’t have to do that much extra work. All we’d need to do is…
Me – Oh, I know what we would need to do. “We” would have to find a place to live for an extra month, figure out where to store our stuff, rearrange travel plans, and move back the moving date so you could go to a 3 day conference in New Jersey. Because, after all, it’s a “free ride”.
Chris – Well, and I’d have to call the department in New Zealand to see if I wouldn’t have to start things right away.
Me – (silent, unamused stare full of meaning)
Chris – (exasperated sigh) Fiiine. Just let me email M and tell him that my wife won’t let me go. He then emailed “M” the following – “Dear M – Unfortunately, I won’t be able to go. We are supposed to be moving to NZ around then, and my wife suggested that I be around to help pack and stuff. Although I think packing is overrated, I know what’s good for me.”
When I read this post back to Chris, this was his response verbatim: “Hmm. I’m not sure I like that. Sometimes, I think your interpretation of things is twisted for humor value. And sometimes it makes me look like an idiot.” Well said, Chris 🙂
*In all seriousness, I have been pretty understanding about Chris needing to move and travel around. Once we move to NZ this May, we will have moved 7 times in a period of 5 years. We have a lot of stuff to do before we move to a foreign country, and I anticipate that the month prior will be jam-packed: getting airline tickets, selling both of our cars, arranging transport for our dog, visiting family and friends before we move halfway around the world, and packing up our belongings and sending them over early so that the delay in their arrival hopefully won’t be too bad (it takes 6 weeks for items to arrive by shipping container, but can take up to 3 months, so we want to send things ahead as soon as possible). Chris attends quite a few conferences and lectures each year and has a fun trip planned for the South Carolina football game this weekend while I’m working. I don’t think missing 1 conference in New Jersey will kill him!*