Counting Down

4 1/2 weeks to go…

33 days…

Where did the time go?  I have so much to do!

I got an email from one of those “your pregnancy this week…” groups, and it said that if you’re a procrastinator, now’s the time to stop procrastinating and get. things. done.

Great – now I’m getting guilt from my email.

Nursery?  Not finished.

Freezer meals? Not made.

House?  In need of a good cleaning.

Prenatal classes?  Still attending.

Hospital bag?  Not packed.

I’m tired.  Sleep is a distant memory.  I saw my midwife today and she said that I looked the worst that she had ever seen me.  She asked why the heck I was still working, and told me to call off for the rest of the week.  She said that if I wanted to, I could work next week, but no more this week.

So I did.  I felt guilty about it, but the truth is that work has been hard.  I’m officially off the roster and just coming in when I want to, but I feel conflicted.  I feel like I should be there, but also that I should be taking care of myself.  Coming home and seeing bruises on my belly and arms and legs from running around the ER all day makes me feel like I’m not being careful.  Feeling like I’ve gone through a 5 hour hot flash is miserable.  Opening the door from the staff bathroom and seeing a health care assistant nervously standing outside, who then tells me that she “just wanted to make sure I hadn’t passed out in there” is a bit embarrassing.  Having doctors come up to me with cold glasses of water and telling me to sit down and check my blood pressure when I feel like I have a million things to do is exhausting.  It’s also hard when you feel that everyone is working full-stop, but they’re distracted because you apparently look as though you’re about to pass out (There must’ve been 20 people yesterday who asked me, “Are you OK?!”, all with very concerned expressions on their faces.  Some of them were my patients.).

Ugh.

Anyway, I’m glad that I’m not going into work tomorrow.  I need to rest.  I haven’t been able to sleep for more than 2 – 4 hours at a time with anywhere from a 1 – 2 hour awake period in between (this is during the night – I’m usually up all day).  I’ve also had some sad cases at work lately and I haven’t been able to sleep for thinking about them.  And apparently, it shows (as my midwife so kindly informed me).  She reminded me that it’s not just about getting to the birth and getting through the pregnancy.  It’s about being in a healthy state of mind and a healthy physical state for what comes after the pregnancy.  As she put it, “If you gave birth now, or even 2 weeks from now, you would not be ready.”  And she wasn’t talking about my little list of chores – she meant emotionally, physically, and spiritually.  And she was right.  I need to take a step back and relax.

As far as milestones and measurements go, things are OK.  I’m 35 1/2 weeks and measuring 37 cms for fundal height (Rule of thumb is that fundal height – a means of measuring baby’s growth in utero – corresponds roughly with your week of pregnancy.  I think we’re going to have a tall baby!).  I’ve gained 16 pounds, which is on the low end but still within an OK range.  I’ve had several appointments where my weight has stayed exactly the same, and that was the case this week.  Since my fundal height is still increasing, it’s not something I’m worried about.  All it means is that baby is growing and gaining weight, but I’m losing it in other places, so total weight is maintained.

And as far as getting stuff done, there is one very important thing that I can check off my to-do list:

First post-baby bottle of wine?  Purchased!

Have a great week, everyone 🙂

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14 comments

  1. molly says:

    Good to have a rest! I can totally understand wanting to work and being frustrated when you know your coworkers are worrying about you! Sounds like your midwife had some really good insight and advice and I’m glad you can follow it! Give yourself a pat on the back 🙂

  2. Erin says:

    I think it’s great that you’ve been officially prescribed a good rest! Make sure you add “sleep” and maybe a bit of “read” or “watch a movie” to your to-do list, just to remind yourself that those are as important as the other items. It’s no good laying down to rest if you’re just kept up thinking you should be doing something else!

  3. Rachel says:

    It feels like as Americans, we are always pushing ourselves to the point of exhaustion. But I wonder why we do that and other countries don’t. It’s weird! But I’m glad that you are taking the advice of your midwife and coworkers and staying in a relaxed environment. Work will be there after you have the baby 🙂 Take care of yourself! And HOW exciting!!! Getting so close!

  4. Peachy Keen says:

    Good for you for taking the time off! I’m sure that you’ll get everything done (and if you don’t how important could it be?) but its crucial that you feel well!

  5. Ally says:

    Please get your rest now!! Because let me tell you, the sleep deprivation that comes with the first month (heck, the first 3 months!) is torture for probably even the toughest of ER nurses 🙂 That 2-4 hours of sleep every 1-2 hours is about what you’ll be getting in a month’s time 🙂

  6. Brittany says:

    I’m only two weeks behind you, and I’m not done with anything either. You should see the lists I’ve started making. Just when I think I’ve made a dent, I realize I’ve forgotten something else I have to do.

    I just looked at the hubs and said, “I’m not sure we’re going to have meals in the freezer for when this baby comes.”

    Something has to give. So I don’t blame you at all for calling off work. If I could, I might consider it as well.

  7. Fidgeting Gidget says:

    Haha, at least you have the IMPORTANT thing taken care of! 🙂

    Put your feet up for a bit and let your body rest….you’re about to have some major-life changes happen! 🙂 I am so excited for you and I can’t wait for your baby boy to be here!

  8. cyndi says:

    Sounds like you need some serious rest! Take the time to take care of YOU. You’re the most important piece of the equation because if you’re not feeling well, the baby can’t be feeling very well. My humble opinion to to take the rest of your pregnancy off & start nesting. I think you’ll feel better once that happens 🙂

  9. Kate E. says:

    Take the time off and don’t feel guilty about it! I stopped working at my 36th week with both pregnancies and I was so ready to be done by then. When I was in Aberdeen and walking everywhere, by the 36th week it was taking a long time to get anywhere and I was literally holding my belly while I walked so my ligaments wouldn’t be so uncomfortable while walking. It’s hard carrying around a baby all the time! (Brannan kept making fun of me. Said it looked like I was going into labor while I was walking.) I was also exhausted like you are. Your midwife is right. Give yourself some time to get things done and rest. 🙂

  10. varunner7 says:

    So nice that you can take the time off. Enjoy it!
    LOL, your bosses wouldn’t have liked me much – I worked until 38 weeks, 4 days with the twins – then my water finally broke 🙂 I actually did try taking some time off at 37 weeks, but I just couldn’t stand sitting at home, so back to work I went.
    The sleep part is hard. I took 1/2 a unisom a few times – with my ob/gyn’s approval.

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