Love the location, love the apartment itself.

Strongly dislike the agencies that represent the landlord, the amount of time it takes to get repairs done, the rent we are paying (and the fact that they keep raising it), and strongly dislike the poor communication.

I think that I’ve reached the point where I’ve had enough.

Here are just a few of the things that we’ve dealt with during the nearly 2 years that we’ve lived in this apartment:

- On our moving in day, the agent showed up late, then complained about the fact that he had to come to work on a holiday.  Not the “aw shucks, it stinks having to work on a holiday” kind of complaining but the “I hold you personally responsible for this” kind of complaining.  We’d been in New Zealand all of 3 weeks and hadn’t the slightest idea that there was such a thing as “Queen’s Birthday” weekend.  He handed us the keys and did an about-face.  So nice that the garage door openers had dead batteries and we had to spend $40 to replace them right off the bat.  When I asked the agent about the batteries, he said it was our responsibility.

- The apartment was filthy.  Footprints on the floors, dust everywhere, dead bugs, ball caps and lamp shades and rubbish in closets, and enough dirt, dust, debris, and grease on top of the cupboards that it looked as though an animal had been shedding up there.  We saw all of this when viewing the apartment and were assured that it would be cleaned.  It wasn’t, and I spent about a week cleaning and photographing the mess.  Nail holes in the wall that were supposed to be filled had either been done haphazardly with big clumps of spackle or weren’t filled in at all.

- The blinds broke while in the “up” position.  That’s a pretty big deal when you’re living in the heart of the city and anyone in the park across the street can see in.  Or in the building next to yours.  Or in the building across from yours that’s being renovated and has construction crews crawling all over it.  It took nearly 2 weeks to get someone out to fix them, and since the windows are ginormous (something that I love), we couldn’t cover them up with anything.  It took multiple emails and phone calls to get someone to fix them.

- The washing machine leaked water all over the floor during the first month of living here.  All over.  All I can say is that I’m thankful that our kitchen has a drain in the middle of the floor.

- The intercom to buzz people into our apartment broke when I was about 4 months pregnant.  It took over a month to get it fixed.  Do you know what it’s like to race down 7 flights of stairs while pregnant in an attempt to catch delivery men?  I missed multiple deliveries and was more stressed during that time than I’d been since moving to New Zealand.  I called… emailed… spoke to the building manager in-person… nothing was done for over 5 weeks and it finally took me calling every single day to get it fixed.

- The semi-annual inspections.  The letting agent was supposed to give us 24 hours notice before doing them.  He emailed me last minute, asking if he could come by and do a quick inspection (no more than 10 minutes) the following morning.  My sister was visiting from the States and I told him this, but said that it was OK for him to come by provided that it was (a) early and (b) that he gave us an exact time.  The next morning we waited.  And waited.  And waited.  I emailed.  Texted.  Nothing.  My sister’s last day in New Zealand.  Gorgeous weather… finally, he texted (at 11:50am… only 10 minutes remaining of the “morning”) to say he couldn’t make it.

- He rescheduled for over a month later.  He showed up early when I wasn’t there, sent an irritated text, and I had to race back to the apartment (remember, still pregnant at the time) to meet him.

- A month before our lease was set to renew, we contacted the agent to sign a new 12 month.  Suddenly (!) the owner was interested in selling (despite being told that he wasn’t only a few weeks prior).  A potential buyer was brought by to view, but apparently nothing came of it.  We were allowed to sign a new lease, but at a higher rate, naturally.  We started the new lease a few weeks before I had Joe.  Looking back, I wish that we had moved but I didn’t want to deal with packing and finding a new place while 8+ months pregnant.

- During this time, we had several more blind break-downs, several problems with the lights, etc, all of which took at least a week if not longer to get repaired.  A floor board came up and, guess what?  It’s still not fixed.

- The roof started to leak into our master closet.  On 3 separate times, I had to take all of our clothes and shoes out, dry them, mop the floors, etc.  It took multiple calls and emails to the letting agent to get the building manager up to look at it and confirm that, yes, there was a leak and yes, it did need to be fixed.

- The faucet handle came off of the guest bath shower.  It’s still not fully fixed.  The shower plug in the master bath stopped working and the only way to take a shower in that bathroom was to keep the plug pressed in with one hand.  It took over 2 weeks to get that fixed.

- Several more lights burned out (we have very high ceilings and need an extension ladder to have them replaced, something that the letting agents are supposed to take care of for us) and it took weeks to get them to send someone out to replace them.  The only light in the guest bath burned out and it was nearly 4 weeks before it was replaced.  We couldn’t use the bathroom during that time unless we took a flashlight in there with us.  No thanks.

- Our oven stopped working.  Repeatedly.  I had emailed twice about getting it fixed but got no response.  About 2 weeks before my due date, I called to find out what the heck was up and was told that someone would be out to fix it.  24 hours later, still nothing.  I called again, and was told that they didn’t know what had happened, but someone would call me.  Finally heard back from someone, they came out, and told me that nothing was wrong with the oven except for a bent fan in the back.  When Joe was a few months old it started to act up again, and the stove top started to flare out big bursts of flames whenever I lit the burner.  Again, it took over 2 weeks, multiple contact attempts, etc., to get this fixed.

- After living in the apartment for over a year, the letting agent realized that they didn’t have a key (apparently they’re supposed to, but didn’t) and asked us to mail in one of our keys to have a copy made.  Chris and I each have a key.  They wanted us to send in one of them, leaving only 1 key between the two of us for who knows how long, so they could make a copy.  Uh, no.  We said that we couldn’t go with only 1 key and that we would instead be happy to make a copy and then be reimbursed.  The agent told us this was fine, so I packed up Joe and went to get a copy made.  The first place that I tried didn’t have the right type of key, so I went to another one.  I waited… and waited… and waited… finally, the guy came back and told us that I would need to bring the letter requesting the key copy with me to prove that it was being done under the authority of the letting agency.  The letting agent never told me this, nor was it included in the letter, but fine – whatever.

- I went home and the next day went back with the letter, only to have the employe tell me that the letting agent wasn’t on the list of authorized agents and he couldn’t make the copy with just her signature.  Augh!  I emailed the letting agent, and guess what?  She informed me that she’d already gotten a copy made from the building’s on-site manager.  Apparently she hadn’t thought to tell me, the mother of a 3 month old without a car who had been schlepping around Auckland trying to get a copy made for her.  Oh, but she did tell me that the building manager would drop off the key to me, and that I would need to drop it off in person at her office downtown.  Remember – we didn’t lose our keys, they lost their key.

- The letting agent came out to do another semi-annual inspection and told us that, as far as they knew, the owner wasn’t planning to sell or increase the rent.  Less than 48 hours later, we got an official letter informing us of a rent increase and saying that the owner wanted to get a property appraisal while considering selling.

- The letting agent asked for a day and time to do the appraisal.  I asked her who would be doing it, how long it would take, etc., and the only response that I got was that she “didn’t know how long it would take” and that it would be “2 men”.  A day later, I got an email from a woman (the same who’d handled the viewing the year before but who works at a different company than the letting agent) asking to arrange a time.  I gave her the same time as what I’d given the letting agent and confirmed that it would work.  The morning of the appraisal, I got a text from the selling agent to confirm.  A few minutes later, I got a text from some guy saying that he was coming by to do an appraisal as well.  I thought it was weird that 2 agents from 2 different companies were doing an appraisal at the same time, and I mentioned this in my text to him.  About 45 minutes later he texted to say he was looking for parking (the other agent, a woman, was already there doing her appraising).  When I told her that this other agent was looking for parking, she was clearly not happy and started to complain to me about all of the problems with that particular company.  A few minutes later I got another text from the guy, asking if another agent was currently there (I’d already told him this twice, but texted back to confirm).  I never heard from him again – he never showed, never texted back, nothing.

- A few weeks later, after having heard nothing at all in the interim, I was informed that the owner was selling but not actively marketing.  However, the selling agent wanted to bring someone by to view.  We arranged a time and I talked it over with Chris.  We decided to email the letting agent to ask about our lease (which was set to expire in about 5 weeks) to see if we needed to get things together in order to move out or if it was possible to extend it till October, at which point we’ll be traveling overseas.  Surprise, surprise… the letting agent had no idea that the owner was selling.  She confirmed that she would get back with me by Thursday to let me know about our lease, extending it, etc.

- Today, Friday, I emailed the letting agent to find out about the lease, and she said that the owner never got back to her and she would have to follow-up next week.  I felt like getting on the phone and saying, “You said you would get back to me by Thursday.  That was yesterday.  If you hadn’t heard from him by the end of the day on Thursday, then you should have called him or emailed him first thing today to follow-up, not wait until I got in touch with you.”

- A few minutes later, the selling agent emailed me to arrange another viewing.  Did I mention that before the last viewing, I was instructed to “clean up” beforehand and to put the toys away.  I know that you readers can’t see my apartment, but there are some of you who’ve been here and you know that our apartment is clean.  I may have dishes in the sink or laundry hanging to dry, but it’s kept tidy.  I reminded the selling agent of the fact that our apartment has always been found to be clean during inspections, and that a family lives here.  We have toys out for Joe to play with and while I’m happy to put them in bin during a viewing, I’m not going to shove them under the bed (which is the only storage space left – there’s not many closets here).

I don’t know – what do you think?  I’m annoyed and irritated and fed up.  I feel like I’ve been polite and civil, despite the frustrations and the time the letting agent got annoyed with me for not being able to meet her when she wanted (her response when I told her that the time wouldn’t work was, “Oh – sorry.  I thought you were a stay-at-home mum”, as if stay-at-home mothers have nothing else on their schedules but to, well, stay at home).

Chris and I have talked it over and on Monday, I’m going to call some short-term places to see what they’re offering and if it’s possible to get something booked.  We’ll see, but I’m to the point where I’d even consider doing several short-term lets rather than stay here and put up with this rigamarole for much longer.  I know that not every tenant in New Zealand has to deal with this kind of malarkey, and actually know of several people who have had great letting experiences in Auckland.  I’m just fed up with ours.  Thoughts, anyone?

The other day, I wanted to make some dinner rolls.  I’d gotten the main supper dish sorted.  It was packed with veggies and all sorts of other good things, but we still needed a little something extra… a bit more food on the table…

I turned to the amazing internet and typed in “quick yeast dinner rolls” and came back with a few options.  Naturally, I didn’t have all of the ingredients for any of them, but I did have some of the ingredients and decided to give it a whirl…

And being me, I would have to misread the directions and let them rise one too many times.  Didn’t seem to hurt them all that much, though

No Knead Yeast Rolls (original, unmodified recipe found here)

Yield: 12 dinner rolls

• 1 1/4 C whole wheat flour
• 1 C standard white flour
• 2 T organic cane sugar
• Sprinkle of salt
• 1 package (2 1/4 tsps) active dry yeast
• 1 C very warm tap water (uncomfortable to the touch, but not scalding)
• 2 T avocado + olive oil spread (I used Olivani brand)
• 1 egg

Mix whole wheat flour, sugar, salt, and yeast in a mixing bowl.  Add water, avocado oil spread, and egg; mix with a spoon till well combined and smooth.  Add in 1 C of standard flour, 1/4 C at a time, mixing after each addition until all flour is incorporated (you may need to use your hands).  Use a spatula to remove any sticking bits of dough from the side of the bowl, cover with a warm, damp cloth and set it to rise in a warm spot for about 30 minutes or till doubled (it took my dough about 40 minutes to double).  After dough has doubled, stir about 25 – 30 times, cover, and let rise again for another 20 minutes (I misread the directions here – you could omit this step and go straight to putting them in the muffin cups, as detailed below).

Stir down the dough with a spoon and, using your hands, pull off some of the dough and put it into the muffin cups.  Cover with a damp towel and return to a warm place to rise for another 20 minutes.  In the meantime, preheat your oven to 400F/205C.

Bake rolls for 15 minutes, or till tops are golden brown.

They’re good.  Quite good, if I do say so myself.  I was a little worried about using the avocado oil spread in lieu of shortening (which is what was originally called for) but I don’t keep shortening around and the Olivani was all that I had.  Chris told me that, of all my recent whole wheat bread experiments, this was his favourite.  I’ll take that as a mark of success and add this one to the recipe files.

You turned 11 months old this week.  How on earth is the time flying by so quickly?

It won’t be long before you’re a toddler, and I’m cherishing these last few weeks of “babyhood”.  You’re such a sweet, funny, clever little boy and we love watching you grow and change.  Here are some things that you’ve been up to…

Movement

You are ready to walk.  I know it.  Your dad knows it.  I think that you know it.  However, you still love to hold a hand, a wall, a piece of furniture, or whatever else is nearby rather than take unassisted steps.  Not that we mind holding your hands – we love it, and so do you!

You love to climb the stairs.  Our apartment entry has a few feet of wooden flooring, and then it’s 6 steps down to the main apartment.  You figured out how to climb those things lickety-split and love to sit up there.  There are so many things to do in the entry way, after all: spinning the wheels on your stroller, attempting to climb the coat tree, stretching with all of your might for the door handle and then yelling loudly when you can’t reach it, and attempting to pry the socket plugs from the outlets.  You still love outlets, cords, and anything that might result in death or serious maiming.  It’s as though they’ve got an invisible baby-bullseye stamped on them somewhere, and you always head straight for ‘em.

We take walks with you.  Real walks where either I or your daddy are holding one hand and you get to set the direction.  You love to walk in and explore the park near our home.  You took some of your first steps there and we visit it frequently.  You’ve fallen several times, but that’s all part of the learning process.

Eating

Once you hit 11 months, we dropped that afternoon nursing time.  You know only nurse 1 time a day, which is immediately after breakfast.  Both Chris and I have commented that you may not be ready to give that last session up by the time you’re a year old.  You eat a big breakfast but have started to cry if I don’t nurse you within a few minutes of getting you out of your chair.  That’s pretty odd for you, and you quiet down as soon as you nurse and are then as happy as a clam.  We’ll see how it goes.  I’m not opposed to continuing the post-breakfast nursing, if that’s what you need   As with everything else, we’ll see how it goes and make a decision when the time comes.

You certainly aren’t turning your nose up at any of the solid foods we give you.  You love to eat, baby!  Breakfast is usually 2 bowls of homemade porridge and some fruit, plus lots of water.  You nurse very shortly after that, and then eat lunch around noon.  Lunch is usually leftovers from the previous night’s dinner, if we’re going to be home.  If we’ll be out, then it’s usually something that can be easily ported around.  Whatever the case, lunch always has some protein, some veggies, some fruit, and water.

Yes, that is you, using a spoon.  You love to try to feed yourself.  Sometimes it makes it in, sometimes it doesn’t.  You get incredibly excited whenever I let you dish your spoon into the bowl and are sad if I take the spoon away.  This morning, I had to let you have 1 spoon while I fed you with another.  You are such a goober!

You have an afternoon snack around 4pm.  This isn’t much: some fruit or some veggies.  It’s important, though.  If you skip your snack, then I have a hard time getting dinner together because you’re upset and hungry.  I would be to, if I were growing as much as you are every single day!  So, no skipping snack time   We did try a mid-morning snack but this didn’t make much sense.  You eat a BIG breakfast and are normally eating for 45 minutes, and then nursing after that.  Once 9am rolls around you start to get sleepy and want to go to bed, then nap till 10:30 or so.  After you wake up, get changed, and drink some water, it’s only a little over an hour till lunch.

Dinner is usually eaten at home.  You like to eat around 6pm and this is probably your shortest meal of the day: only about 25 – 30 minutes long.  You eat when we eat, and you eat what we eat.  You love tomatoes in any form, steamed radishes, carrots, roasted onions, beef, chicken, beans, spinach, kale, plain yoghurt, papaya, oranges, apples, cut-up grapes, kumara, feijoa… the list goes on and on.  You’re not too keen on pasta noodles.  I’ve also just started to introduce you to pink grapefruit.  You’ll eat a bite or two, then no more.  I think that it’s a bit sour for you, but it’s good to try new things!

Talking

You love to make baby talk, and you’ve recently started to say “ma-ma” and “da-da” a lot, though if we ask you say it, you often get shy and opt not to   If we ask you, “What does the duck say?” you’ll answer with “cack-cack”, which thrills us to no end!  You also do a great job of letting your fingers “talk” for you, especially that pointer finger.  There’s no doubt about what you want – you just point until we get it for you or bring you to it, though I’ve started to make you “work” a little and come toward whatever it is you’re pointing at rather than us being at your constant beck and call.  You don’t always like it when we do this, but I keep reminding myself that it’s good for you to learn that you can get things for yourself

Sleep

You l-o-v-e to sleep.  Love it.  You haven’t shown any signs of dropping a nap, something for which I’m quite happy.  Your nap times are some of my most productive times of the day, in terms of chores around the house.  You take a morning nap from 9/9:30 – 10:30/10:45a.  Sometimes it’s less than that, but usually no longer than 1.5 hours.  You take an afternoon nap from 2/2:30p – 3:45/4:15p.  The timing varies, but if it’s gotten to 4:30p and you’re still not awake, then I’ll open your nursery door to check on you.  This usually wakes you right up and you’re all smiles!

Once 7pm rolls around, you start rubbing the sleep dust out of your eyes (or is it into your eyes?) and we get you ready for bed.  Your nighttime routine is pretty standard.  Dinner from 6-6:30pm; bath 3 times a week with some bubbles, toys, and lots of laughing (unless you’re overtired, in which case it’s a quick in-and-out bath so as to avoid lots of tears toward the end); on days you don’t take a bath, we dim the lights a little and you play with your toys, we read to you, etc.; after bath or quietly playing, we change your nappy one last time, put you into your pajamas, get you into your sleep sack, and then cuddle with you and read.  Sometimes you start to phase out during the reading and we put you straight to sleep.  Other times, I’ll take you into the nursery, turn off the light, turn on the sleep sheep, give you a pacifier, and cuddle with you and sing to you for a few minutes before laying you down.  You’re normally snoozing by 7:30pm and don’t wake till 6:30am the next day, though we check on your once or twice during the night to be sure you’re alright.

Other Bits and Pieces

You love to do “the snuffle nose”, where you scrunch up that cute little nosey of yours and “snuff-snuff-snuff!”  If we do it to you, you do it right back!  Here’s a very quick clip of what I’m talking about…

You also love R’s scooter!  We’re very happy that he’s letting us borrow it

You’ve got 4 teeth: 2 upper and 2 lower.  You must be cutting some more because if you can get it in your mouth, you’ll chew on it.  Hard.  You’ve also started to do some love bites, where you come up to us and bite our legs.  It hurts!  Some day, like when you’re a teenager and you think we’re giving you a hard time, I’ll remind you about how you used to bite me on the leg

Love,

Your Mom

The reason is that, after making dinner, feeding Joe, putting him to bed, cleaning up the kitchen, putting away the toys, adding the day’s expenses and earnings into the budget spreadsheet, answering and sending emails, and any other things that remain, I find myself falling into the couch with an “oomph” and not wanting to do anything but read a book or watch part of an episode of the “The Closer” on DVD.

Yes, I have the “The Closer” on DVD.  I rented and watched more DVDs during those first 6 weeks of Joe’s life than I’ve ever watched before.  Thank you, breastfeeding.  “The Closer” was one of the shows that grew on me.

There’s a funny story about those DVDs.  Chris bought me season 2 over Christmas.  I thanked him, and then a few days (or weeks?) later pointed out that I didn’t actually have season 1, and was there a special reason why he bought me the 2nd season as opposed to the 1st season?  Perhaps he liked the 2nd season more, or couldn’t stand the 1st season?  Nope – nothing like that.  He just bought me the 2nd season because, well, he didn’t realize that I didn’t have the 1st season.

That’s not the funny part.

Last Tuesday, Chris asked me what I was doing that evening.  I sat there in my jeans and slippers, facing Joe with a spoonful of dinner in one hand and a washcloth in the other, ready and able to fend off any flying food particles that might come my way while Joe practice using a spoon.  I glanced over at Chris and said, “Uh, well, I hadn’t really thought about it – I guess finish feeding Joe, clean him up, put him to bed, clean up the kitchen, do some stuff on email, maybe read a book, and then go to sleep.  Why?”

“No reason,” said Chris, “except that I thought you might want to watch something on TV.”

I shrugged my shoulders and said, “Yeah, sure – whatever you want to watch is fine.”

Later that night as I washed the counters, I heard the familiar theme music of “The Closer”.  I looked up and saw that Chris had put it in, which struck me as odd since he doesn’t like police/investigation TV shows.  He turned to me, all smiles and said, “I got season 1 for you!”  He had been to the library earlier that day and I thought it was sweet of him to pick that up for me, but I wasn’t all that interested in watching it and told him so.  I’ve got a stack of documentaries to get through and if I’m going to watch something “for me”, then it will be one of those.  I thanked him but told him to put on something that he wanted to watch.  He looked a bit dejected but didn’t comment.

The next day, Wednesday, I was going to the library to return some books.  I saw the DVD case of “The Closer”, deliberated for half a second, and decided to return it, too.  Chris wasn’t going to watch it on his own and those documentaries were giving me the evil eye.  I scooped it up, tossed it in my bag with the rest of the books, and headed out.

Fast-forward to Sunday.  I was nursing Joe and Chris did his typical, “close your eyes and hold out your hands” gift delivery (the man hates to wrap presents).  I did and was surprised to open my eyes and see season 3 of “The Closer”.  I thought, “This makes no sense.  Why would he buy me season 2 for Christmas, rent me season 1 from the library, and then get me season 3 for Mother’s Day?  I do not understand men.”  What I said was, “Oh, that’s so sweet of you!  I definitely want to watch this one, since I haven’t seen it in awhile.”  Chris was pleased and made the offhand comment as he walked away that he’d “gotten them both” on Amazon.

Both.

Wait a minute.

I looked over at Chris and said, “Both?  I returned season 1 to the library!”

Chris nearly choked on his morning cup of coffee.  Shipping from the US to NZ isn’t cheap, and I can just imagine what was running through his mind when I told him that (I’ll give you a hint: I’m guessing it was green and had a $ sign on it somewhere).

A not-quite-heated and very humorous discussion ensued.  I may have said something like, “How was I supposed to know that was a Mother’s Day gift?  You gave it to me on Tuesday, for cryin’ out loud!  And like usual, it wasn’t wrapped!”.  Chris may have said something like, “I never said it came from the library.  Why did you assume that?  Why didn’t you tell me you’d returned it?”

Side Note: Chris also bought me some “Mother’s Day” flowers on Friday.  At the time, he said something about them and the DVD being my “Mother’s Day” gift.  I thought, “Really?  A $2 DVD rental from the library was my Mother’s Day gift?  Sweet, but a little cheap!”  What I said was, “Really?  The DVD was part of my Mother’s Day gift?”  Chris affirmed that yes, it was part of the gift, and gave me a look that said, “Sheesh – are you hard to please or what?”

The good news is that, after church, Chris was able to stop by the library.  He inquired about the DVD and guess what?  They’d put it aside!  Chris was able to identify the day that it was “returned” and they gave it to him without any trouble.

So, my lovely readers, I now own seasons 1, 2, and 3 of “The Closer”.  And I had a fabulous Mother’s Day

{I got this video from Michelle over at Mumma and the Kiddo.  Be sure to check out her blog – it’s a great read!}

Disclaimer: None of the Kiwi mums of my acquaintance look like… or yell like this… but I still find it funny

My feet are propped up on the couch, the kitchen is (somewhat) clean with dishes in the machine, counters wiped, food put away, and tonight’s dinner thawing in the fridge.  I can hear school children laughing and rough-housing in the street below as they prepare to embark on a field trip.  Bless the teachers and docents in charge of them!

I look to my right and I see this bouquet:

Chris surprised me with them this morning.  He left for work, and about 30 minutes later I heard his key in the lock.  Imagine my surprise when he walked through the door with them as an early “Mother’s Day” gift.  I’m blessed beyond measure to have such a wonderful man by my side.  It’s been 7 1/2 years and I love him more now than I ever have.

It’s time to tell you guys some news.

Chris, Joe and I will be leaving New Zealand.  Chris was offered a job at a university in Virginia with a start date of August 2013 (note that it’s over a year away).  We still have plenty of time in New Zealand, or so I keep telling myself.  Except that the months are already filling up.  Chris has many conferences over the next year that will take him to the US, to Germany, to Australia, and to various parts of New Zealand.  It’s also highly likely that we’ll be spending several weeks in Oxford and possibly a few in Scotland at the tail end of that.  We’ll see.

Making the decision to move to Virginia wasn’t easy.  I’d say that for 90% of the final 3 months of this process, I was opposed to leaving New Zealand.  I’ve had a very positive time here.  New Zealand has its issues and problems like any other country, but I’ve grown quite attached to it.  It’s funny, because had you asked me to move back to the US during the first year, or even year and a half, of being here, I would have been able to agree without too much sadness or sorrow.  Something about that 1 1/2 year mark, though, must do it.  This has become home.

Virginia will be home, too.  Once the decision had been made and we knew we were moving, I was 100% supportive of Chris and behind him all the way.  I’m excited to move there and to meet new people.  I’m excited to live in what appears to be a very family-friendly town.  I’m thrilled at the prospect of being within a day’s drive of both sets of parents.

I’m sad, too, and it wouldn’t be honest to say that I wasn’t.  I can work myself into a cry if I think about leaving all of our friends over here, but I can also cry if I think about living so far from our families.  This is a good decision, even if it’s a hard one.

We’ve certainly got plenty to keep us busy in the interim.  The fact that our current apartment has just been listed on the market and that we’re very likely going to be hopscotching from house to house over the next 15 months means that I’m sure that I’ll be quite happy to settle down in Virginia.  That will be our 7th move in what will by that point be 8 1/2 years of marriage.  I’m very excited for Chris, too.  This is a wonderful opportunity for him and I’m glad that he has the chance to pursue it.

I’ll still keep blogging about life as an expat.  Moving is just part of the game.  And like I said, it’s looking very certain that Joe and I will be with Chris in the UK for several weeks.  I’m excited about that and already thinking of all the various sites that we can see while there.  I’m sure that I’ll have plenty to say!

This is awkward.

On Monday, this box was full:

Today, Thursday, only 2 of the original 10 sachets remain.  Well, make that 9 now.

Clearly I cannot keep these in my house.  I bought the box on a whim (never impulse buy!) while at the grocery and brought it home.  I’d had one before, back when Chris and I were in Wellington on our first trip with Joe.  They provided them at the hotel and, oh my, it was good.  When I saw it on the shelf at our local store this week, I decided to buy a box.

I’m not going to tell you what the ingredients are, because (a) they’re embarrassingly unhealthy and (b) they’re embarrassingly unhealthy.  I need to stick with my usual loose-leaf tea habit and leave the boxed stuff on the shelf!

The answer is yes.  And no.

More accurately: it depends.

What do you mean by violence?  Do you mean something measurable, like a statistic?  If so, then yes, Americans are more violent (and this is where the importance of context comes into play – don’t misunderstand me).  In 2010, there were 1.76 (intentional) murders per 100,000 people in New Zealand.  The US had a rate more than 2 1/2 times that of 4.8 per 100,000 people.  Yipes.

But that isn’t the question.  The question is “Are Kiwis less violent than Americans?”.

I don’t think so.  I happen to think that people are pretty much the same the world over in terms of how good we can be and how rotten we can be.  The phrase, “But for the grace of God, go I” comes to mind.

I also think that there’s such a thing as recognizing that those tendencies for violence exist and then doing what you can to safeguard against them.  The US could use some brushing up in that area, in my opinion.  I still see violence in NZ, but the number of times where that violence results in death is lower.

Why?  I have my opinions on the matter, one of which has to do with the US approach toward gun control vs. the Kiwi approach.  I’ll give you one guess as to who’s approach I favor, but that’s a post for another day.

When Joe was 6 months old, I started him on solids.  He was r-e-a-d-y: grabbing at our food, grumping and harrumphing when he couldn’t get it, etc.  Clearly, the boy wanted to know what solid food was all about.  We did a few foods straight off the plate, but I was happy to take the meal that I’d prepared for Chris and I and puree it for Joe.  It was as easy as dishing it into his baby bowl and whirring it once with the hand blender.  He still nursed as usual and only had 1 solid food meal around lunch, always after nursing.

Toward the end of 6 months, I started to mash food with a fork or spoon rather than puree it and, once he was 7 months, he got 2 solid food meals a day: lunch and dinner.  He was still nursed before each meal and hadn’t dropped any nursing sessions.

That changed by the end of 7 months when he started to nurse one less time per day.  I can’t remember exactly which feeding he gave up – it’s been too many days past.  Once 8 months rolled around, we introduced 3 solid meals a day, and by mid-way through 8 months I’d given up mashing his food.  I was still feeding him whatever we were eating and only occasionally made “special” foods for Joe, but these were primarily to have on hand in a pinch: baby pancakes, sweet potato puffs, egg muffins… all of them were stored in the freezer for me to thaw, heat, and/or take with us if we were eating out, needing a snack, etc.

I stopped nursing Joe before his solid food meals at this point.  By then, Joe had self-transitioned to nursing 4 times a day: first thing in the morning, mid-morning, mid-afternoon, and evening.  This wasn’t forced, nor was it a heinous process: I simply stopped offering the breast as a first resort.  I’ve always thought that if a baby is hungry, then there’s nothing that will work but to feed them.  However, if they’re happy to play, be read to, go for a walk, dance around, or whatever else you try to do, then they’re not hungry, they’re bored.  Or teething, but that’s another story.

When Joe was about 8 1/2 months, I decided to try going without that first-thing-in-the-morning nursing session.  If I was being honest with myself, I could admit that the first nursing session was more for me than for him.  Used to be that I always got up, got dressed, and then got Joe.  I was more productive that way and the likelihood of it being 2pm and me still being in pajama pants went way down.  But once he turned 7 months, I hit a bit of a rut.  This was also when I started to experiment with working more hours at the hospital, often not getting to bed till after 1am, sometimes nearly 2am.  You do the math.  I’d begun bringing Joe into bed for that first morning nursing session.  It let me doze a few more minutes while keeping Joe content and quiet.  There’s nothing wrong with that, but if I wanted to finish nursing Joe at 12 months, then I needed to get up and feed him breakfast.

By the end of 8 months, start of 9 months, Joe was nursing 3 times a day and eating 4 solid food meals a day: breakfast, lunch, afternoon snack, and dinner.  He was eating breakfast around 7am (after waking at 6am), nursing immediately after that (literally wiping him down, taking him out of the highchair, and nursing him), napping from 9-10:30am, eating lunch around noon, nursing immediately after, napping from 2/2:30-4pm, having a small afternoon snack afterward (usually gave it to him by 4:30p, otherwise it starts to cut into dinner), and then eating dinner with us at 6/6:30pm.  Good grief – reading that after writing it makes me realize what a process it is to feed a baby!

At the end of 9 months, Joe gave up his evening nursing.  He’d been nursing for shorter and shorter periods in the evening, and I wondered if he might go without it entirely.  When he went from very short nursing episodes to biting every time I tried to offer him the breast, I knew it was time to quit that last session of the day.  So we did.  I worried that it might mean a middle-of-the-night waking, but everything was fine: he slept like a champ.

Joe eats a BIG breakfast.  I had wondered if the reason why he was eating so much was because he was hungry through the night and not getting enough at dinner.  However, Joe almost never wakes up in the night.  He started going for 6 hour stretches when he was 7 weeks old, and by the time he was at 3 months he was sleeping for 10 – 12 hours.  I didn’t plan that, but it’s now pretty regular at 10-11 hours of uninterrupted sleep.  Like I said earlier, I’ve always thought that if a baby is hungry, there’s nothing in the world that will satisfy them: not sleep, not a pacifier, not a toy, not a thing.  So it made sense to me that if Joe was sleeping for 11 hours without waking and he was pushing the scales at his medical exams, then he was probably getting enough in his tummy.

When Joe does wake up in the morning, he’s in a happy mood and doesn’t scream or cry.  He’ll let me kiss him, change his nappy, give him a drink of water, play by my feet while I get his breakfast, and then he eats.  Sometimes he gets a bit grizzly just before he gets his food, but he’s not wailing as though he’s starving.

So, breakfast.  What does it consist of?  It varies, but a typical breakfast for Joe might be oatmeal, some fruit (perhaps homemade applesauce, a small banana, a mandarin, etc.), maybe half of an avocado or a piece of wholegrain toast, and plain water to drink.  That’s a lot of food.  I’m all for making the most of a mess, so it’s not uncommon for me to make a double batch of oatmeal and put half in the freezer for another morning during the week.  I’ll set it out to thaw the night before and then heat it with a tablespoon or two of water added.  His oatmeal might be plain, it may have homemade applesauce mixed in, perhaps some softened raisins, or maybe just a dash of cinnamon.

If he doesn’t get oatmeal as the “main” part of breakfast, then it’s usually something like an omelet, scrambled egg, avocado on toast, or some other easy to prepare thing.  All of these options, including the oatmeal, take no more than 5 minutes to put together.  Joe feeds himself any fruit that he’s offered (well, not the applesauce), can eat his own toast or avocado, does pretty well with picking up the egg, loves to eat the veggies from his omelet, and has now started to hold a spoon that I’ve filled with oatmeal.

And then after he eats all of that, he’ll happily nurse.  The boy is a bottomless pit in the mornings!

Lunch is usually not as big as breakfast.  Lunch “mains” might be something like a hard boiled egg, or leftovers from last night’s dinner (has included roasted vegetables, soup, pumpkin/squash, pasta…), or ingredients for that night’s dinner (such as chopped cooked chicken or browned ground beef), or an avocado, etc.  Avos have a lot of potassium, so I don’t usually give him more than 1 avo a day, and usually not 2 days in a row.  I always give him fruit and he feeds this to himself, same as at breakfast: chunks of banana, raw apple slices, mandarin orange, pineapple chunks, feijoa, or homemade applesauce (which I feed to him).

I also give him a veggie.  Sometimes this is included in the main but if not, it’s as simple as handing him some raw carrot to chew on, a bit of microwaved broccoli from the freezer, etc.  And again – plenty of plain water, which Joe drinks by himself.  We’ve been working on keeping the cup on the tray rather than flinging it to the side once he’s had a gulp, and he’s figuring it out

Afternoon snack is easy, too.  Sometimes it’s puffed brown rice cakes, sometimes wholegrain crackers, occasionally it’s plain Greek yoghurt with chia seeds and spirulina mixed in, or it might just be a piece of fruit that he hasn’t had that day.  I’ve even given him small chunks of cheese, though I don’t do this very often.  Babies have a hard time digesting dairy, so it’s best to use this sparingly if at all.  Plain water is offered frequently throughout the day.

Dinner is whatever the rest of the family is having.  If we’re eating fish, then Joe eats fish.  If it’s stir-fry, then Joe gets stir-fry.  If it’s a quinoa salad with beetroot and homemade tahini dressing, then Joe gets quinoa salad with beetroot and homemade tahini dressing.  The only concessions that I make for Joe is to leave out the salt and to tone down the “hot” factor.  He eats a lot of spices, but we steer clear of the jalapenos and chili powder.  For now.

If either Chris or I had allergies, eczema, or a food intolerance, then I would have gone about things differently.  But we don’t, and neither does anyone in our family.  I keep the eggs and dairy to a minimum and lay off using too much nut butter simply because (a) babies often have a hard time digesting dairy and (b) eggs and nuts are one of the biggest allergy triggers there are, so if he is allergic, I’d rather find out after a small exposure.  We also don’t feed him honey – not because babies are allergic, but because there’s a bacteria that can be found in honey that babies can’t handle, but adults can (Clostridium botulinum, if you really want to know).

My mother-in-law tells a story of soothing a teething baby Chris once upon a time using a nipple that had been filled with honey.  Whoops.  I’ll just say that baby Chris had a rough few days afterward, and leave it at that :-/

Joe is nearly 11 months old now.  My plan is to drop the lunchtime nursing session once he’s 11 months.  Hands down, his biggest nursing session of the day is right after breakfast.  Depending on how Joe does, we may have to introduce a mid-morning snack once he stops nursing completely or just make sure he eats enough at lunch.  I do find that if I try to rush mealtime, then Joe doesn’t eat enough.  But if I’m patient, making a point of sitting there with him, talking to him, eating with him, praising him when he puts the food in his mouth, then he does a great job and isn’t hungry later on.

I’ve also been asked about teaching babies table manners.  I don’t teach Joe manners – manners are just something that we do, no teaching involved.  From the time Joe started on solids, we began praying with him at meals.  We’ll hold his hand, say something as short as, “Dear Lord, thank you for the food – amen” and then eat.  Joe usually fusses by the time we reach “amen”, but that’s how we do it around here.

If Joe throws food over his tray, I’ll say, “We do not throw food, no sir”.  If I see that he’s dangling something (food, his cup, his spoon) over the edge of the tray, I’ll warn him with, “Don’t you do that”.  If he brings it back onto the tray, then I praise him.  If he drops it, I pick it up, say, “That was not nice – if you do that again, then we’re done eating” and then move on.  Once Joe starts dropping food, I take it as a sign that he’s not hungry.  The rule is usually one drop is fine, but dropping food twice means no more.  I try to explain this to Joe – “If you drop that, then we’re done” – and if he drops it, I say, “OK, we’re done” and clean up.  Do I think he understands?  Not completely.  Do I get frustrated sometimes?  Of course, but it’s not a drama, and it’s not punishment.  He’s just not interested enough in food to eat with it and would rather play, so instead of wasting food, we play.

I’ve been hearing a catchphrase lately: food before one is just for fun.  This makes a lot of sense if you’re planning to do extended breastfeeding, i.e., nurse past the age of one, but if you’re planning to stop at age one, then food before that age isn’t just for fun, it’s for eating and fun.  We play with Joe and laugh a lot at meals… but the main objective is to eat, not play.  If all he wants to do is play, then he’s not hungry and down he gets.

Around here, food prep falls under the category of “mealtime”. I talk to Joe as I’m getting his meal ready.  Sometimes he’s put out and crying because the food isn’t making it from the stove to his high chair in what he considers to be a timely fashion and, you know what?  It’s fine.  I don’t expect my 10 month old to wait 60 minutes while I prepare a souffle, but he can start to learn to wait for 2 minutes while I spoon food into a bowl or while his daddy cools it down by blowing on it.  It’s not a big deal – he fusses, I tell him what I’m doing, and he eats when it’s ready.  He’s happy, healthy, and we’re thriving by doing what works for us.  And that, my lovely readers, is how things are going with weaning Joe

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Feeding Joe isn’t a science, nor is it a militaristic routine.  It’s an adaptable process that can change a bit every day.  Of course I’ve had stressful moments, wondering if perhaps I ought to nurse him longer, or worrying that I wasn’t feeding him enough, or questioning what and when I ought to feed him.  Was I offering enough variety?  Too much?  Was I damaging him in some way by using a spoon?  It shouldn’t be that nerve-wracking and, once I stopped worrying so much about fitting into another person’s expectations, then it was easy.  At times I get sad about the fact that he’s nearer a toddler than a baby, but usually I’m so happy and excited to see how he’s growing that I don’t think about it for more than a second or two.  It’s wonderful to see him learn new things

Becoming a bit more independent…

And learning how to feed himself with a spoon!

He still feeds himself primarily with his fingers, but we’ve begun to introduce self-spoon-feeding with me handing it to him this past week.  Generally it’s only with sticky foods, such as oatmeal or avocado, but he’s doing really well and gets it into his mouth about 80% of the time.  Still nursing twice a day.  He’s also begun to use the straw attachment on his sippy cup (still uses the sipper, but learning how to do the straw).

Good job, Joe!