First of all, thank you so much to all of you who commented. Your words were thoughtful, encouraging, and challenging. I appreciated them so much.
Secondly, I realized that I need to be honest not only with myself, but about myself. So, here it is. I can be quite sarcastic around Chris. Sure, I can try to rationalize this by saying that it’s a defense mechanism, that it’s a learned response to his behavior, but the fact of the matter is that I, not Chris, am the one doing it. My sarcasm hasn’t helped things with our marriage.
I liked that one of the comments spoke to how many blogs are always happy and never show the “down side” of things. For a long time I’ve put pressure on myself to make this blog into a place where only nice, cute things are written about. Things that make people feel happy and smile. I had to be honest with myself yet again and ask “What is it that I really expect to come from having this website?” Do I want a website that is full of nice, cute, happy stories? A place where all that I write about are shopping tips or recipes or funny anecdotes? Well, who doesn’t want to hear nice, happy, funny stories? But writing like that all the time and presenting that kind of face to the world gets exhausting and, lets face it, can be downright boring.
I think that one of the great ways that we connect with one others is over our weaknesses, our mistakes, our ugly moments. Realizing that we are not infallible, and being humble enough to talk about it, opens doors to learn about others and to grow as a person.
In light of this, I resolve to be more honest with you, my readers, and hopefully more honest with myself as a result. Yes, I will still share those happy, cute, funny stories (like the patient who always tries to bite me whenever I walk past him – but that’s a post for another day), but I’m also going to be more open about the “unpleasant” stuff. I think it’ll be a good thing, and I hope that you’ll stay with me through the process 🙂 Have a great evening!
I really appreciate how honest you are in your last post. I know how you feel to be unhappy in someplace and it’s because you are doing it for someone you love. I hate Los Angeles and would be happier anywhere but here. I just really respect the fact that you were this honest. I also agree with you that for some reason we are not allowed to put the real unhappy moments in our blog. We’re just suppose to be happy, fabulous and pink! So you are so brave to let everyone in on this part of your life. It is so hard and sometimes letting it out is the best medicine.
If you need to talk more, please feel free you can email me. I feel like I can understand a lot of what you are going through. I really hope that you are doing okay.
Awesome post, and I really really agree we relate in our weakness. You were on my heart and as I said, you are not alone!!! Thanks again for sharing. Xoxo-BLC