I think that 5 1/2 weeks is the longest that I’ve gone without writing on this blog. Normally, I seem to have lots to say and can never go without posting for that length of time.
This latest blog silence isn’t because I haven’t had anything to say. It’s because I’ve had too much to say. I’ve felt too many emotions to write them all down without starting to cry halfway through the process. It’s hard for me to clearly convey what it has felt like to leave New Zealand and to move back to the United States. Happy. Sad. Homesick. Excited. Nostalgic. Guilty. Relieved. Familiar. Lonely. Hopeful.
I’m going to take another whack at writing some of these thoughts down in the next few days. Over and over again, I’ve found it helpful to go back to old blog posts and remember what I was feeling at a particular point in time. Sometimes, I laugh and shake my head at that younger version of myself. Sometimes, I nod in agreement. Sometimes, I remember things that I’d forgotten or am encouraged because what felt like a real low point was, in fact, a period of change and opportunity, something that I could only recognize in hindsight.
So, my lovely readers (all 3 that still remain, including my sister!), keep an eye on this space. What comes next may be a jumbled mess, but moving back has been a messy, emotional process and I’m still sorting it out. However, it has also been a growing experience that has revealed a bit more of God’s grace in my life, has brought me closer to my family, and has helped me to remember and discover personal strengths. Thanks for reading 🙂