Stuff My Sweetie Says, or, “That Time My Husband Referred to me as an RV”

My husband has been great throughout this pregnancy.  Actually, he’s been fabulous.  But he’s still a guy, and we all know that, typically, guys aren’t quite as good as girls when it comes to sensitivity.  Chris is no different from the rest of his fellow man in this area.

A few examples:

– Asking me if I was going on a “vomit diet” during my morning sickness.

– Telling me that the reason it was difficult for me to hang on to the tow rope during the dolphin tour was because of the “increased drag” from my pregnancy.  I was wearing a wetsuit at the time, so doubly insecure.

– Saying that the “pregnancy glow” was nothing more than an overproduction of oil, and was I washing my face often enough?  This, after he read about it in “What to Expect When You’re Expecting”.  He lost pregnancy book privileges forever awhile after that.

He had another doozy this weekend.  We were just about to enter a crosswalk when Chris pointed out some inner tubes hanging in a shop window’s summer display.  I made the offhand comment that they looked a bit too small to fit my midsection, and stepped into the street.

Chris followed, then burst out laughing.  I asked him what was so funny but he shook his head, still laughing.  We exited onto the other side and he told me what he’d been thinking, but he was laughing so hard that I couldn’t understand him.

“What did you say?” I asked.

His face red and still spluttering with suppressed giggles, he gives me his belated comeback:

“That’s because you’re a mobile home right now!”

Ah yes, every woman’s dream – being compared to a lumbering, over-sized, boxy, cumbersome vehicle.  I might as well just have “Wide Load” embroidered across the rear end of all of my maternity pants!

What my husband thinks of when he sees me

After giving Chris the evil eye and suppressing my own urge to giggle at his ridiculous comparison, he looked at me and said,

“You’re gonna blog about this, aren’t you?”

Heck, yeah.

***In Chris’ defense, he really does a great job about telling me that I look fabulous.  And his reason for asking if I was on a “vomit diet” was because I was losing so much weight and he thought that I might be worried about gaining weight for the pregnancy and not being attractive.  But really… a mobile home?!***

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13 comments

  1. Adrienne says:

    Oh that is too funny! I am glad you are able to laugh at it, that makes all the difference. Just remind him that with each comment your push gift just gets that much nicer! 🙂

  2. danielle says:

    haha. too cute! i can’t wait to see what this little nugget looks like 🙂 i love babies!

    thanks for the flu info. i will probably get a flu shot next year. this was NOT fun.

  3. Jane says:

    Oh my gosh! I laughed out loud at the mobile home comment … except the picture that come to mind wasn’t an RV … but you with a roof on your head and a door on your belly. Actually … I’m still laughing out loud!

    Where do guys come up with this stuff????

  4. Perfectly Imperfect says:

    Oh men.. hubs had so many of these I could have killed him. The topper was when I got up off the couch (okay he pulled me up) once and he looked at the dent (yes, there was one) and went “wow.. my couch will never be the same”. daggers flew out of my eyes. They just don’t get it!!!

  5. Erin says:

    I can appreciate the quick thinking, but yes, it makes for an unfortunate comparison 🙂

    …just tell him the only weight/size you care to discuss is how large the center diamond on your “push gift” will be. Ha!

  6. annie says:

    i think i need a pair of pants that also says WIDE LOAD on the bum…instead of PINK 😉
    my sis told me i had a bubble butt, as if i needed her to inform me of that! ha!
    my hubby has also let a few comments slip, on accident! i just find humor in it all. after all, he has gained 15 pounds this pregnancy and me 19. he has no excuse!! 😉

    http://annieandbillychaptersofourlife.blogspot.com/

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