Twinkie Rationing

The following is an excerpt from an email that I received.  It was mailed out to people who had subscribed to a certain American imports store based in New Zealand.  I busted out laughing when I read it the first time and have forwarded it on to several people.  I’m sorry, but really?

“Our new container has now arrived.  We are working on getting everything unpacked as soon as possible, although it does take time.  For you Twinkies members, we do have our latest shipment of Twinkies in so remember limits are two singles or one box of 10 per member.  If you are not a Twinkies member, Twinkies will go on sale to the general public beginning Tuesday (limits still apply).  We have a good supply of Twinkies this time so hopefully there will be some for all interested parties.”

Oh my word.  First up, the fact that there are Twinkie club members is so funny to me!  I wonder if they have membership cards with a Twinkie and an American flag in the background…

“Yes, that’s right.  I am a card-carrying Twinkie club member.”

And then, that there has to be a two Twinkie per person or box of 10 limit!  Ridiculous!  I felt like raising my hand and saying, “Uh, I hereby rescind any and all claims to Twinkies and offer up my rations to someone else!”

Twinkies!  Blech!

And in case you’re wondering what exactly makes up a Twinkie, then read on {and try not to gag when you get to the part about “beef fat”…}:

Enriched Wheat Flour – enriched with ferrous sulfate (iron), B vitamins (niacin, thiamine mononitrate [B1], riboflavin [B2] and folic acid
Sugar
Corn syrup
Water
High fructose corn syrup
Vegetable and/or animal shortening (containing 1 or more of partially hydrogenated soybean, cottonseed or canola oil, & beef fat)
Dextrose
Whole eggs
2% or less of:
Modified corn starch
Cellulose gum
Whey
Leavenings (sodium acid pyrophosphate, baking soda, monocalcium phosphate)
Salt
Cornstarch
Corn flour
Corn syrup solids
Mono and diglycerides
Soy lecithin
Polysorbate 60
Dextrin
Calcium caseinate
Sodium stearol lactylate
Wheat gluten
Calcium sulfate
Natural and artificial flavors
Caramel color
Sorbic acid (to retain freshness)
Artificial color (yellow 5, red 40)

In a word: nasty!

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8 comments

  1. molly says:

    Is the american imports store the one you already mentioned in an earlier blog entry? i had forgotten you can subscribe – must do so. thanks.

  2. varunner7 says:

    I’ve never been a big twinkie fan. Other junky snacks yes – but not twinkies! And to think some people take them and deep fry them and THEN eat them. Gross!

  3. Travis says:

    Ok, this is actually Brooke, but I don’t feel like logging out and back in. Anyway, glad you’re back, and this is hilarious! Gross! Who buys them? Should we all bring some back next time and sell them on Trade Me?

  4. Brittany says:

    REALLY? They’re that much in demand there? Oh heavens! I gag thinking about them! (Although think of the fortune we could make if I bought them here and sent them you to sell on some sort of Twinkie Black Market.)

  5. Valerie says:

    Not a fan of twinkies? What kind of American are you?! 😉 I’ve never liked them, either, but that e-mail is too funny! Those poor, desperate Twinkie members!

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