I had such a horrible night last night. I got in my car after work, was halfway home, and burst into tears. When I walked in the front door I was close to sobbing. I scared poor Chris half to death. He had woken up about 5 minutes earlier and was sitting at the kitchen table checking email, when in walks his wife, red face, nose runny, tears streaming. Hoo, boy.
Nothing horrible happened and for HIPAA reasons I won’t go into details. I didn’t get in trouble, no one in my zone died, everyone is going to live. It was just incredibly, awfully stressful. I should’ve known. Holidays are always nuts. People get together and start getting on one another’s nerves, tempers rise, and someone does something stupid. Or family goes to visit great-aunt Doreen and recognizes that she doesn’t look so good, and they bring her to us. Don’t get me wrong – I love my job and wouldn’t want to work anywhere other than the ER. But some nights it’s plumb crazy. This was one of the those nights.
I’m so thankful that I have a husband to come home to, someone who loves me and wants to hear about my f’ed up night at work. Someone who says to me, “Are you OK?! Do you need me to make you a strongly alcoholic drink?!” I really do think that I scared Chris. I walked in the door, and with his eyes bugged out of his head he said, “What’s wrong?! What happened?!” Sorry, Chris. Once he ascertained that no one had died, he let me vent for a solid 45 minutes. Gosh, I love him.
I’m going to go to bed soon, because I have to be up in 6 hours so that I can go back in to work and do it all over again. My jaw hurts from clenching my teeth all night. I think what makes it so bad is that I keep everything inside and am incredibly sweet and polite to all of my patients, and it builds up.
I really do love my job. Just not right now!