I am one week past my estimated date of delivery. It hasn’t been easy. I’m glad that my mom has been here to provide me with a distraction. A much needed distraction. She arrived Thursday morning and has been an absolute trouper – she wasn’t jet lagged at all and we’ve been go-go-go pretty much ever since. I have walked a ridiculous amount since then – up and down footpaths near where we live, around and around the parks, walking around the various mounts in Auckland, touring the beaches and doing some hiking, and going up and down the stairs. I’ve gotten so good at stair-stepping that I’m actually faster than my mom and Chris. I can’t believe that I’m 41 weeks pregnant and doing all of that stuff. People see me coming and, I swear, they clear a path. I’m like a ship sailing forth – a great big barge!
I’ve done all of the tricks in the book, so please don’t feel the need to suggest any more. The truth is that it’s hard for me to hear them, because I’ll inevitably try them and then get discouraged when they don’t work. It’s not that I don’t appreciate the advice – I do. I just know my own reactions right now, and it’s better for me to just let things go and not try to force it.
My biggest struggle these days is dealing with the few mildly uncomfortable contractions that come each day, which then fade away into oblivion. Talk about discouraging. I do my best to ignore them and will actively tell myself, “It’s just Braxton-Hicks” or “It’s just muscle pain”, but I still hope. Last night was not the best. I was awake for about 4 hours and at one point simply got up and cried. I felt ridiculous for having done so – it’s the most emotional that I’ve let myself be about all of this. It’s not always been easy, but I’m trying to have a thankful heart with how healthy my pregnancy has been overall. That, and to trust that God’s timing is better than my own.
At church, we we singing “Praise to the Lord, the Almighty”. When we got to the second stanza, I teared up a bit:
Praise to the Lord, who o’er all things so wondrously reigneth
Shelters thee under His wings, yea, so greatly sustaineth!
Hast thou not seen how all thy longings have been
Granted in what He ordaineth?
I thought, “My longing right now is for this baby to be born”. God knows that. I can look back over my life and see the many times that He’s provided for me. And not just provided in the sense of granting the bare minimum, but richly blessed me again and again. It’s a comfort for me to be able to look back and see that, and it’s a good reminder that He’s still here, sustaining me in all sorts of ways 🙂
So what’s the plan? The plan is to enjoy my mom’s visit and to make the most of it. I have a scan slated for tomorrow to make sure that everything looks OK. Provided that it is, I’ll continue on for another week and if I don’t deliver in the meantime, will have a scheduled induction on the 20th. That’s not the ideal, but it’s nice to know that one way or another, this baby will be born.
Have a great week!